Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
	Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
	Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
	If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: . If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit. Chuck Norris once taught a class called "butt Kicking 101". There were no survivors. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors. Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants. Chuck Norris Isn't funny, stop laughing. Chuck Norris has an unbeatable poker face, concealed beneath an even more unbeatable poker beard. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. Q: What’s 30 times Chuck Norris? A: Oblivion. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. In conversation, Chuck Norris often quotes himself, and then laughs about it. February 29th only occurs once every four years because Chuck Norris wills it to be so. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter. A man stopped Chuck Norris on the street and asked him to list 100 Chuck Norris facts. Unamused, Chuck Norris raised one eyebrow with such force that the man disintegrated. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. There are no steroids in baseball, just players Chuck Norris has breathed on. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

DeepThoughtsByJackHandey.com

I AM A BANANA!!!!!!